What We Have Been Up To

It has been a little while since I last wrote. All my treatments are done and I have a nice head of hair back. My hair is still pretty short and straight!! but it is kinda cute. Brittany told me one sunday shortly after I decided to stop wearing my wig that she wouldn't go to church unless I put it on, she even went and got it for me. I love that girl, I am sure it is weird having a mom that looks like a boy. Brittany is my girl that would care. Kayla has been great about my short/no hair. She has tried many times to talk me into going "naked", which surprises me for a teenager. The only side effects that I feel like I am still dealing with is that I forget short term things or get confused really easy when I have to think quick. I have done some research into this it is called, chemo brain and in time it will get better. In the mean time I have learned to really try to watch were I put my keys, etc. I can go see a occupational therapist if I want to if it still bothers me in December. I also have a hard time sleeping at nights but we just have to get through that one. My treatment plan from here on out is to take daily a medicine called Tamoxifen. Tamoxifen keeps my body from producing estrogen. My tumor needed estrogen to grow so the theory is that no estrogen, no tumor and then after awhile if there is any cancer left it will die. There are no tests to test for reacourance, the tests they do have sometimes come back false positive which just causes stress. The doctor prefers to just have me come in every 3months for the first year and watch for any signs of reacourance. I figure that if there is a reacourance that is not a good thing no matter what test I take so I am fine with just watching for signs to catch it early so we can take steps to survive the disease, which would require me to be on chemo for the rest of my life to keep the cancer from growing. With all the procedures that I have gone through the doctor estimates that I am in the upper 90th percentile of being cured, so that is reassuring and I know personally that I have done all that I can so now I just move forward with faith. There have been a couple of days that I have worried about an reacourance but for the most part I have felt amazing. I am running, I am up to about 4 miles I am very please with my progress.

The thing that has been most difficult recently for me has been to trying to find a balance in life and to get organized. I am surprised at how hard it has been, I finally figured it out what might be contributing. It has been three years since we have moved here; the first year we were getting settled and worried about our house selling in AZ, the second year we had Emily, and the third year I have had cancer. So it really is no wonder that I feel a little behind. I have been thinking about how I should share my journey of finding balance in my life. It has been fun to see it develop over the past few months, but I do wish I could just figure it out. I decided to look at it as a journey not just trip with an end point. There will be uphills and down hills and easy roads. In the end hopefully I will have something good figured out. I know that some of you are probably saying "just stop doing too much" and "pick wiser priorities". Well that is probably the case, but it feels so good to be able to things again that I just want to do everything and I feel like everything is important. I have done a lot of thinking trying to figure out what my priorities are and what they really should be. I made a list of what I felt where the most important and I also figured that I have 5 hours (9a-2p)a day to do everything a mom/wife is suppose to do. In that 5 hours I have to do the "daily to-do's" like, cook, clean, put kids down for naps, and play with the kids. Amongst all the "daily to-do's" we have our "daily extra things", the things that you don't have to do everyday but still are my job like, paying bills, menu planning or grocery shop. I finally got to the point where I scheduled what I felt were my priorities. We all know that a mom's life can't be that scheduled but it gave me an idea of us of my time. I figured that if I got up at 5:30a that would allow me to exercise, read my scriptures and shower before breakfast at 7:30a. I also figured that if I put out breakfast and made lunches the night before that I would get in my "me" things in the morning. This would open up more time in my "crazy 5". We actually have started a pretty good assembly line with one child taking a portion of the lunch and making it and then each child just goes through the different lunch item piles and fills their lunch it seems to work pretty good. My plan has been working pretty good So far. I have felt better about getting all the priorities in each day and I feel like I am getting organized and being able to spend time with the kids and Mike plus take care of me. I don't remember life being this hard before cancer, maybe I am just realizing I want to use my time more efficiently and effectively than before not taking any day for granted.

Since the last blog we have done a lot of fun things, here is a short summary of events at the "Wacky Whitesides" and I will elaborate on them later.

Mike took first place overall at the Rexburg RUSH triathlon in the sprint division.

Nathan participated in the scouts pinewood derby and had a great time building his car with dad. They don't keep track of the winners here, but we think that he did very well and of course loved every minute of it.

We actually got to go camping. We thought this summer was one that we would have to pass by without a camp out, but we got to spend a fun filled couple of days in beautiful Island Park, ID.

August 26th first day of school. Kayla 9th grade, Nathan 5th grade, Brittany 1st grade, and Cami Preschool.

August 27th last day of Radiation and celebration party.

September 3rd-8th Mike and Jeni had a fun filled weekend in Boise.

Kayla tried out high school cross country this fall and loved it. She did so great!!

Jeni has been the canning queen with her friend Sunny.

Mike participated in a relay run that ran from the Idaho Falls LDS temple to the Rexburg LDS temple.

Nathan and Brittany participated in a kids tri that was amazing!

Emily turned 2, Brittany turned 7 and Mike turned 29 again.

We traveled to St. George, UT to let Mike travel the ironman course and the meet up with Grandpa and Grandma Mc Nett. On the way back home, the fun and nice Mc Nett clan in Salt Lake had lunch ready for us to eat and visit.

Coming up, we can't wait until Halloween. The little girls plan on being lady bugs, Kayla plans on being an 80's girl and Nathan is tentatively planning on being Eragon from the Eragon series. Kayla is planning a fun Halloween party and the other kids are excited to go trick-n-treating. I just hope the weather holds out.

Radiation

I am sorry I haven't had time to blog. We have been pretty busy here with radiation everyday and the kids home from school.

I am feeling great!! better than I expected. I am very pleased with my progress of recovery and my hair is even staring to grow back :). I have had good energy and have really been able to enjoy the summer and the kids being home. I was able to take a trip to Salt Lake last week to spend time with family. This was a trip that I planned while I was on Chemo and it felt so far away when I was planning it, but I knew that it would come and when it did then I would be done with Chemo!!! When the time came to go I was very excited to see family and to know that I had made it through chemo.:) We had a great time and I even felt good enough to enjoy myself.

The summer has been fun, a couple of fun things we have done so far are: go to Rupert for the 4th and the Whitesides family reunion, play in Salt Lake, and swimming lessons. We are looking forward to camping this weekend, Cami's birthday, school starting and to a Mike & Jeni trip (I think we deserve one, how about you?).

I began radiation on July 14th. I know have 10 sessions done, almost a third, of the 33. I will end on August 27th, the day the kids start back to school. I was pretty bummed for awhile about starting later than expected and thus finishing later, but at least we are on the road to being done with all of this. The only side effects for my kind of radiation are fatigue towards the end and that my radiated skin will turn pink or red, like a sunburn, but if this is all for the side effects-I will take it. I have to goto Idaho Falls -I.F.-(about 30 min. away), everyday (Monday-Friday). My appointment takes about 15 minutes including parking the car and backing out of the parking lot. My "zapping" takes only about 5 minutes at the most. I walk right in to the office change into a cape and then wait my turn in a little semi-private room. The radiologists walk me back to the machine and I lay on a metal table draped with a sheet. I position myself into this mold type thing to help me position my upper body right for the machine The doctors wrap my feet with the end of the sheet and wrap a rubber band around the balls of my feet (I know kinda weird- they say it helps with the line up of the machine). Then they match up these marks that I have on my body with the machine to make sure I am in correct position. The nurses wanted to give me these tatoo dots but I opted not, just because I really don't want any mementoes of this fabulous time, so they just used permanent marker and clear stickers to protect the marks from fading too fast . I put my arms up over my head and hold onto these bars positioned right above my head. This allows for a open field to zap my chest, under arms, and neck. The machine is pretty big and rotates around to where it needs to zap. I don't feel or see anything at all.

The doctors have been great about scheduling my sessions to match my crazy summer schedule

with the kids home and taking trips, etc. I decided to sign the kids up for swim lessons in I.F. on my way to session. It has been really easy and has allowed me to feel better about driving down to I.F. everyday, I also am not leaving the kids behind everyday. I was thinking that I would have friends drive me a couple times a week just to make the trip more fun and hopefully not so tiring, but I am glad we can swim- at least for now.

More next time...

Happy Port- Out Day

Happy Port-Out Day!!!

Today I got my port out. My port is a central line or internal IV that was inserted into my chest right below my collar bone on my left side. It protrudes just a little and looks pretty weird under the skin. This is where the nurses inject the chemo for my sessions. There were times after chemo that I couldn't even look at it because it would make me nausea.

Today was a big day I felt like I came full circle. The surgeon who took it out also was the one who told us that I had cancer. A rush of emotions came over me as I prepared for my doctors visit and then after when it was all done. We have come a very long ways in the past few months.

As we were coming home from the surgeon Mike took the road that leads to the oncologist's office, and when we came to the street that would take us either home or to the office Mike said "oh no not today, today we are going home." I love that guy, he is amazing! He is my strength and I am so happy that I have him as a part of my life. This has been a tough road for both of us, but he has been the one who has held us together as I laid in bed or not felt good. He has been a single dad, taking care of 5 kids and a sick wife at the same time. This is not only a big day for me but for him and for all of us.


Happy Port-Out Day!!!

Chemo Graduation and Scrapbook

This is my Chemo Graduation Scrapbook. It isn't very long, but I think it does a good job of capturing the past few months. We wish we could capture every single prayer, act of service, hugs, and listening ears, of the past few months because they are all very important to us; we could not have done this without all of you!!!

I will be starting radiation the week of July 6th. I will go 33 times and hopefully end around August 21. After all this is said and done, I will be able to say that I have done all I could to make me healthy. I will have the "go" from my doctors and the probability that I will be cured will be in the up ninety percentile. I firmly believe that modern medicine is a modern day miracle.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

First day of the rest of my life

Today I have declared the first day of the rest of my life. Today I went for my first walk after my last session of chemo. It felt great!!! I am not running yet, but I feel like I am now officially on the road to recovery. I want to challenge everyone to join with me in making this the first day of the rest of your lives. Some ideas might be to do something you have always wanted, or make a goal to change something for the better in your life, or to take time tell those you love that you love them.

You don't have to go through cancer to realize that life is short and to make it grand!

May recap

May was a fun month with all the recitals, soccer games ,choir concerts, plays and reports. We enjoyed beautiful weather which made for a fun month. here is a few pictures to recap the fun.

Make a Smilebox postcard

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Make a Smilebox greeting

chemo recap 4 and 5

I haven't taken time to blog but here is a recap of sessions four and five. I was so tired after session 4 that I took a lot of naps. The month of May was busy with all the kids activities the last month of school. I was tired and didn't really recover from round 4. Usually by day 10 after chemo I feel pretty good, but round 4 was just brutal; I couldn't even run well.

When I got to session 5, the doctor saw me not doing as well and decided to cut back a little on the chemo by 10% (they call it "chemo stacking" and usually by the end of sessions the doctor's tend to cut back) and the nurse hydrated me with 2 bags of water. All together, the cut back and water made the 6th session one of the easiest. It was such a blessing because I wondered how I was going to finish all 6 sessions but after session 5, I felt like I could make it through number 6.